Anonymous asked: My boyfriend seems to have this... He is constantly aggravated and annoyed with me every time we eat at home. He says I eat like a cow and he relates all my eating sounds to "nails on a chalkboard". I have never been told that I am a loud eater by anyone before now. I don't know how to make this better for him or for us. It's to the point where I don't want to eat around him anymore because he seems so angry at me, like I am intentionally doing it to annoy him =(. Any ideas?
A key to all of this is communication. Talk to him, ask him what specifically triggers him. Is it the saliva noises, the actual chewing noises? And don’t, DON’T mimic them to help him get an idea unless he asks you to. A lot of couples have worked this out, including in my own relationship. You need to talk to him and ask what would make it better for him. He might be triggered by specific foods that make specific sounds
You need to be patient more than anything. He doesn’t hate you, but when someone experiences a misophonic trigger they are irrational, angry, and scared. This is something you have to remember: when we are being triggered we are irrational. We think that someone must be doing this to us, that something is wrong with us. And it’s difficult as hell to get out a rational, calm, “please stop, you are triggering me” without crying/screaming/just running away.
From what I see, he doesn’t hate you. He has this disorder and he’s trying to cope with it. Talk to him. See what he needs, work out solutions: maybe eat meals a distance away, or eat in restaurants together (that usually works for me because there’s enough background noise.) When I eat with my family I do it with music on in the background or the TV on, because it’s enough to distract me. It all depends on what he needs, and again. Communicate, and good luck.
I noticed there wasn’t a lot of recognition for misophonia so I made a comic (sorry for the quality!). Misophonia is greatly varied and this barely brushes the surface of this broad disorder. I know I kept this brief and broad, so if you want to add anything please put it in the comments! If you have any questions about it feel free to message me or visit the misophonia tag here on tumblr. If you want to learn more or think that you may have misophonia, check out http://misophoniasupport.tumblr.com/ and http://www.misophonia-uk.org/faqs.html
I learned something new today!
As someone who has been plagued by this neurological condition for the better part of my life, it would really mean a lot to me if people reblogged this.
Please always be considerate of those who ask you to stop something, because it probably took them a lot of courage to say it.
Anonymous asked: So I have Misophonia but my friends don't think that its real and whenever they start eating the freaking crunching sound and swallowing and their jaws popping just drive me nuts so when I talk to them about it or walk away to avoid hearing it they get mad. What should I do?
fuck your friends if they can’t accept you for something and aren’t concerned about your wellbeing that you literally need to walk away, and aren’t concerned about you, then you need to get new friends. or have a serious conversation with them because if they don’t care about you or your mental health or stress, that’s an indication that there may be other things they don’t care about and you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life
i’ve had shit friends that did the same thing. they didn’t care. and they didn’t care about me at all, either. but now i have two best friends and they are very considerate and are open and ask if anything’s bothering me. they make sure that other people aren’t bothering me either. my one friend told someone off because some girl was chewing her celery really loud. those are the friends you need. not ones that get mad that you’re upset, not upset.
The Dynamic Neural Retraining System is not a scientifically supported method of treatment. They exploit in-vogue science jargon (right now it’s neuroplasticity) to scam people out of money. There is no research behind it. The treatments they give work on placebo- give anyone that much attention in ANY form and you’ll feel better for a while. Note they also swarm Google with fake positive results.
thank you, tumorhead. I was in class so I couldn’t do much research, but yeah, it seemed really sketchy to me. Followers, please take DNR with a grain of salt.
Sufferers should look into dnrsystem.com…a program to treat limbic system disorders. This type of “hypersensitivity” is similar to multiple chemical sensitivities in that the limbic system has become impaired and is sending the wrong signals to the body in the presence of a trigger. But because the brain has neuroplasticity, what changed for the worse can also change back to proper function. Norman Doidge’s work helps explain this (The Brain that Changes Itself), as well as Jeffrey Schwartz’s work with OCD and PTSD. This is treatable!!
Thank you Brooke, but I have not heard of this before! If any of our followers have done this and could give their experience it would be appreciated!
7/11 breathing. A skill to use for anxiety. It’s recommended to do it for 10-15 minutes. Like any other skill it does require a lot of practice. I advice that you practice it when you are feeling calm so you are ready in a time of need. If you lose count, which is easily done, simply start again until you do 15 minutes. It will also help with distraction even if you don’t get it right the first hundred times.
Breathing out longer than you breathe in actually activates your parasympathetic nervous system!
Anxiety is your sympathetic nervous system (“fight or flight”) setting off all the alarms, while breathing like this will set the parasympathetic system (“rest and digest”) into action shutting off the alarms and settling your nerves.
Other things that help: laughing, checking out what’s going on around you (moving head and eyes to orient to your surroundings), getting curious about something.
Take care, be safe.
Please use this, guys, it can really help calm you while being triggered and when you’re in a stressful environment.
To anyone in the Los Angeles area (or surrounding, depending on how far you’re willing to travel), my dad helped me find a doctor that specializes in helping people with misophonia. Her name is Dr. Jaelline Jaffe PhD, LMFT. This is her website: http://www.lemonaidcounseling.com/
It doesn’t specifically mention misophonia because of how uncommon it is, but she is very familiar with it. Before I started seeing her there was paperwork I had to fill out that had me answer questions about my misophonia. Our initial meeting was her getting to know me and what bothers me and what triggers me. I have high hopes for lessening my anxiety and increasing my quality of life. I highly recommend you email her.
angstattack asked: I've seen a lot of people asking for coping methods or saying they can't get their family to understand. I showed a few links to my boyfriend of almost three years and he finally had it click. Now we've made agreements that I can, as nicely as remotely possible, let him know he's making a trigger noise. From there I can see if he's willing to mask it, stop, or if I need to excuse myself. This also helped with my parents, it's done wonders and I suggest it.
Thank you very much! Having a mutual understanding where you can gently know you are being triggered is a nice coping mechanism.
Anonymous asked: Omg! i am so happy i found this. I recently found out i had misophonia but i want to go to the doctor for it and maybe somehow get help for it. But i have no idea what kind of doctor to go to. This has been torturing me for years and because of these sounds i hear i get into heated arguements with my mom. It would really help if you knew what doctor to see for it. Thanks :)
Many people first go to their PCP, but mine had no idea what it was and was not interested in learning about it- I would suggest an audiologist, maybe even a therapist or a psychologist. I’ve gone to all of these, and the audiologist had no idea- but there are some that specialize in misophonia. Honestly, my therapist/psychologist has been the most helpful in relieving my symptoms and teaching me how to cope.